20 Year Olds Are Ruining It For the Rest of Us
A guy I went to high school with recently began a “relationship” with a 20 year old (he would be 30). While age shouldn’t matter, I find it hard to believe that I would have anything interesting to say to a 20 year old, at least for long enough that we would be considered to be in a “relationship”. Granted, women are way more mature than men. However, when I was 20, I though men over 24 were old and gross. Whatever, her prerogative.
He justifies the relationship by saying that she’s really fun. Well duh. At 20, she probably hasn’t finished school yet; probably has just started racking up $10,000 of credit card debt; probably still goes to her mom’s house to raid the fridge; probably still lives with her mom; probably still has new clothes as her #1 priority. (Yes, that was me at 20…except the living at home thing. I got out as soon as I could). If I had no care in the world, I would be really fun too.
To the 20-year-old: Please leave men my age alone. I find it hard enough to get a guy somewhere near my age…I can’t compete with a 20 year old. I have a career and an apartment lease and a car and a student loan and nasty hangovers. You can’t be serious about anything at 20, so leave the good guys alone. When you dump him, you’re going to put some damaged goods onto the market. He’s going to feel old and ragged because he can’t keep a 20 year old and he’ll have an early mid-life crisis and then we’re the ones who will be stuck cleaning up after you.
September 8th, 2008 at 2:37 pm
lol
Hey wanna know what I think?
No?
Ok.
(pssst. I started dating my girlfriend when she was 18 and we’ve been together for 4 years. I’m 30. I’m also awesome.)
September 8th, 2008 at 5:58 pm
Yeah, but you’re also really immature.
September 8th, 2008 at 11:18 pm
No I’m not you are.
September 9th, 2008 at 12:36 am
YES!! Finally someone with the guts to tell these hot 20 year olds to leave us older gentlemen alone! GAH!! For the love of PETE!
It constantly with the “By me and my slutty friends beer” and “Come pick us up its a Monday night and we’re too drunk to drive after 2 beers.
THEY ARE SO LAME!!
September 13th, 2008 at 11:36 pm
You haven’t got a clue about men. That’s why you can’t keep one. Don’t blame it on 20 year olds. They’ve got the goods you used to have, but didn’t make wise use of.
September 14th, 2008 at 6:54 pm
The D- you must look rich.
September 14th, 2008 at 6:55 pm
Kerry- Maybe I don’t have a clue about men, but most of the 20-year-olds that I know who are going after older men are getting their asses dumped as soon as the men find a younger model. They are screwing themselves over.
September 16th, 2008 at 10:13 pm
Kerry obviously hasn’t met Darcie.
It’s not that she can’t keep a guy. It’s that she hasn’t because she’s dated some really huge fucking losers.
There is nothing to fault about her “goods”.
September 17th, 2008 at 11:54 am
Ha ha. Thanks for sticking up for my goods Mark!
September 25th, 2008 at 4:43 am
You tell ‘em, Darcie! Let’s not forget that gay men are also running after the straight ones. It’s a crazy world.
October 4th, 2008 at 10:00 pm
I find it pathetic that a 30 year old woman not only has the time but the nerve to write a blog about a 20 year old that she is clearly jealous of. Just because someone you obviously have feelings for is dating a woman younger than you does not give you the right to be little her. Age is simply a state of mind, ive met plenty of 20 year olds who are in a much better place in their life, have strong ambitions and a much higher maturity rate than a 30 year old. The simple fact that you feel the need to write a silly blog about a younger woman that you wish you were clearly shows what high ambitions you have and how immature you are. Maybe if you didnt spend your time bitching about a 20 yr old then a man your age may find you attractive and may want to be with you. You obviously know nothing about this woman besides her age and generalizing her only makes you look like an insecure idiot. For all you know she has high goals for herself, a great job leading to n even better career and she found a great man that loves and appreciates her for everything that she is, including her age, no matter what it is.Let your grudge go and move forward in your life because stressing about someone that you wish you were isnt going to make your situation any better.
October 5th, 2008 at 8:46 am
Chelsea- if the 20 year old and I were exactly the same in everyway, with the only difference being that I was 10 years older, and we were in fact in competition for the same man, which of the two of us do you think he would chose?
October 5th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
ok…so let me begin saying that that last comment by Chelsea was reallllly harsh.
Having that said, I can understand what your saying, but it’s a bit harsh to us 20 year olds too. You have to give both us and the men a little credit in the sense that not all 20 year olds are immature children with no responsibilities, as well that not all 30 year old men are looking for just a plaything. Having done some of the internet dating things-more of as an entertainment than anything else- I’ve talked to plenty of people that are 28 or 30 that I have a way better connection than a guy that’s a year or too older. All I’m saying is that this demon group of 20 year olds are NOT on a mission to steal your good men. I would much rather find a guy my age to connect with than someone that already has 2 dogs and a house…but if that connection was there then I wouldn’t want to rule that out.
Granted there are always going to be younger bimbos stealing the good men….and there will always be older men that will pine after those girls. But do you really want to be with a guy that would senselessly date a WAY younger girl without that real chemistry?
(Oh and I’m a new fan of your blogs. Is it sad that I’ve spent the last hour or so catching up on what I’ve missed?)
October 7th, 2008 at 7:03 am
Darcie, when we were co-workers you must have been about 20 and I was definitely over 24, damn……here I was hoping you some how thought I/Greg were hot way back then, but instead I now hear you state you “thought men over 24 were old and gross”!! LOL Say it isn’t so Darcie…….next thing you are likely going to tell us is that there is no Santa Claus probably!! LOL :-)
Just kidding…..look forward to seeing you Friday!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:51 am
Emi: Great comment! If you were into any of my 30 year old male friends, I would let you date them.
What I guess I don’t understand is why a 20 year old would want a 30 year old. When I was 20, I thought 25 year olds were gross. I was into booze, clothes and shoes (ok, I’m still into all of those). But my mind was far, far away from career, dogs and house.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:51 am
Wayne: if it makes you feel better, I have placed you in “creepy-old-man” category. Greg, maybe.
October 7th, 2008 at 6:57 pm
Oh trust me…it’s a pretty weird concept to me too haha. I just realized that I’m not as against the idea as I was before. I guess for me it’s mostly mid late 20’s…and I would be kinda embarrassed to say “hey Im dating a 30 year old…yeap…im still 20…” , but once your life starts coming together in different ways it seems like there arent as many differences that are impossible to overcome.
Age aint nothin but a number
ok…so maybe i shouldnt quote R kelly…
October 9th, 2008 at 10:25 pm
“I was into booze, clothes and shoes (ok, I’m still into all of those)”
And you wonder why you can’t get a good man?
October 9th, 2008 at 11:05 pm
A good man would be into booze, at the very least.
November 25th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
A man works to finish school and get his career in order, then he starts looking around for someone to settle down with.
He will take the best he can get. Biology ranks high when wanting to start a family, and younger women are emotionally savvy and interesting even though they may not be worldly.
So as a man, you pick the youngest, freshest, most adorable woman you can find, settle down and have babies. If a woman is gorgeous and 30-something, that factors in, but an adorable 20 year old, even if not a model will usually trump a model-like 30-something. The 20yo has an honesty and clarity as opposed to the jadedness and sense of entitlement of the older woman.
If you are an unattractive man, in your 30s you have become more “worldly”. You may not be able to score the fresh faced 20 year olds, your next choice will be a 30-someting former prom queen who (at this point) no longer cares about looks. (That is SO vapid anyway and is not as easy to brag-up as a large rock or yearly vacations in Europe.)
Women who were once attractive but still single in their 30s have got a difficult battle. They can try to rob the cradle and grab a horny 20 something looking for adventure, but these relationships will not go anywhere because the man is still working on his career and will not be ready to settle down until later — when he knows he can attract a fresh faced 20 something with his stability and worldliness. So older wome who are still single will grab a second or third-tier “career man” — and be happy to have that.
November 25th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Here are the choices for women:
*If you are average or unattractive, you must try to sell your youth to an older man with good social standing who is of lesser looks.
*If average or unattractive, you can go the traditional route and bond with someone early, someone of equal looks and equal means. You will not be able to “land” anyone better your own age; thats just the economy of it.
*If good looking, your window of opportunity is a little larger. You can spend a few years exploring and hoping to develop a “connection” with the Big Score. You’ve got to convince this guy (attractive, money) that you have enough of an emotional connection that he should forego other partners. He will probably cheat. You will either live with it or divorce.
*If model quality, your ability to land the Big Score is easier, but the window is not much larger. (Time is an equalizer) Good luck. You also have some freedom to date younger and less attractive.
*If you are good looking in your 30s and have not found a mate, then your only choice is someone less attractive or of lesser means. Your career will probably be better than the man you choose who is some variation of Joe Sixpack. he likes beer.
*If you are average and in your 30s or later, your only hope is the 1-in-a-million deep connection with someone, anyone in one of your social groups.
*If over 35, add +20 to the age of guys you are going to find, or subtract 3 on the 1-10 scale. If you are a 7, you will be able to date an equal age, equal-means man who is a “4″ on the scale. (Think back shaving and fingrown toenails). Or you could find a late-blooming 55yo who wants to settle down and is not so hideous. The one-in-a-million soul mate lottery ticket may also appen, but if you find your soul mate, you are just tricking yourself into love with one of the aforementined types.
This is the econom of things. Sorry.
November 25th, 2008 at 4:06 pm
But then think it is also difficult for guys, because when they are young men, they are competing with older, established men. Therefore they spend time developing their career so they can score a 20yo and start a family.
Women are to blame for this really. If women only cared about looks, then everyone would be pairing up with someone their own age and roughly their own attractiveness. But women are also looking for stability, a man who can support them) so the who thing gets fubared. On the balance, young men suffer, and older women suffer.
That said, a yong, average looking woman has a lot easier time scoring a mate than an average looking young man. If she hasnt settled down by the time she is in her 30s, who does she have to blame but herself?
She may be saying she didnt know the rules of the game, but now she does. I pass this wisdom to you because you are blaming the 20yo younger women for your own failings. It is not their fault, but ALL womens faults. If you didnt want the whole package, and just wanted looks (like men do), then you would have alrady settled down with someone.
Crazy, but true.
November 27th, 2008 at 5:48 pm
Wow Chris. You have mother issues.
December 6th, 2008 at 5:11 pm
Guys at 30 don’t “date” women at 20. They sleep with them until the cold hard reality of the age gap sets in and then it ends.
Women may be more mature at 20 than guys the same age, but nothing bridges the gap of life experience from 20 to 30. The reason guys usually go after these women is that they’ve brainwashed themselves with significantly less “Sex in the City” and Cosmo and thus, at least for the short-term, are lower-maintenance and require less mind-reading and bs games. They also have less criteria which makes them much more attractive for a relationship. Though eventually they do enough stupid, immature, 20yo bs and the maturity differences rear their ugly head (most people under 25 don’t know what they want). I have yet to see this actually work long-term.
If you want to blow those 20yo’s out of the water, be cool, chill, and above all, low-maintenance, and you’ll be worlds more attractive to guys who have smartened up. Don’t play games, just communicate. This saves much grief. Good luck.
December 7th, 2008 at 10:17 pm
Thanks Brian! Makes me feel so much better!