My sister reminded me of an experiment I tried last year. Jim, the guy I talked about in my post about Facebook and dating, was not an attractive man. He was pretty much the opposite of my typical type. He was as short, skinny, red-head who sweat a lot. Everyone always said the reason I was meeting losers all the time was because I was always going for the really good looking guys, who, as experience tells, are all jerks.
So I decided to date someone not good looking at all. I ended up really liking him. He was smart. (I was going to write other things about him, but he was not passionate, funny or cool). And then he ended up being an asshole like all the good looking guys. So why should I bother settling for someone I’m not attracted to? I can get a good looking asshole, why would I want an ugly one?
I had to drive my sister to the airport early this morning, so I thought I would pop by the gym and get my workout out of the way early today. I was there at 7am on a Monday of a long weekend.
After my weights, I hopped on a cross trainer. Though my usual machine was taken, I purposely picked one that had no one on any machine near it so that no one would bother me. This wasn’t my first time working out early in the morning, I do it often. I do it often enough to know that there is a gaggle of women who all get to the gym at the same time. Set their cardio machines to lever 15 (out of 100…basically, the machine moves for them), and just talk for an hour straight. On my regular machine, I am far enough away from them that it doesn’t bother me.
Unfortunately, today, I was smack in the middle of them. They were literally shouting over top of me. It is possible that they were purposely being annoying because they wanted me to move. They probably think that because it’d be easy for them to hop off of the machine, since they aren’t doing anything for their heart rate in the first place, it’d be easy for me. I didn’t budge. I wish I had. They completely wasted their time there…I don’t understand why people pay for gym memberships and don’t work out. It’s not a freaking coffee house. My gym is actually pretty dingy and gross. These women would have been better off doing a 15 minute intense work out then sitting at a Starbucks for the rest of the day.
And I don’t give a crap what happened in their pitiful lives. I highly doubt the other people trying to get a quick workout in this morning did either, but everyone heard because they SHOUTED everything. I wish it was socially acceptable to tell strangers to shut the hell up.
I got this e-mail yesterday from eHarmony with a link (http://advice.eharmony.ca/?page=articles/view&AID=2100&cid=2091&aid=100804 Sorry, my visual editor bar is broken and I don’t care to learn javascript) to the 9 Signs You’ve Met The One. I hate everything that eHarmony does, so even if I once thought these may have been true, I don’t anymore. Here are my thoughts on their 9 signs.
1) You’re Not Chasing the Relationship’s Potential- What they mean by this, is that the spark is gone. You stay at home and watch TV until 10, then try to get to bed 30 minutes before your partner so that you don’t have to sleep with him.
2) Who You Are Is Good Enough- You no longer need to brush your hair. Your sometime forget to brush your teeth. It doesn’t matter because you stopped kissing a long time ago.
3) You Manage Conflict Well- Screw that. If being in a relationship means I can’t flip out at ridiculous, mundane things and slam a cupboard door every now and then, then I don’t want it. As a rule, I never manage conflict well.
4) The Mundane Is Suddenly Interesting- No, this is people in the relationship lying to themselves. The definition of “mundane” is “not very interesting” (http://www.thefreedictionary.com/mundane). Isn’t that an oxymoron? All the people I know in boring relationships tell me they think everything is fun now because they are jealous of me because I actually am having fun.
5) There’s Minimal Drama—or None at All- Uhm…what? Again, if that’s the case, I don’t want to be in a relationship.
6) Your Friends and Family See What You See- When I get into a relationship, I want to see a hot stallion. I DO NOT want my mom to see that too.
7) You Know How to Make Them Happy- I usually tell guys when I first meet them that the way to make me happy is to buy me stuff, so I guess when they meet me, I’m always ‘the one’.
8) You Have the Same Life Priorities- we both want to have a husband? In certain circles this might be ok, but I’d rather date a guy.
9) You Respect the Person Deeply- then how are you supposed to have kinky sex?
And to make a nice round number, I am adding in #10:
10) It just works for you- forget 1 through 9. Are you happy?
Stupid eHarmony.
The big party night for Torontonians is typically Thursday. Fridays and Saturdays we leave for the 905′ers (the area code for the people who live in Toronto suburbs). We don’t like to mix. I didn’t go out tonight because I’ve been out every night this week, and I am exhausted. I wanted to get a workout in before my sister comes to town for the weekend (there are actually 3 of us sisters).
I find it hard to get to the gym on a Thursday because there’s always something going on, so it’s usually my designated night off from the gym. It’s a good thing too, because the only people at the gym on Toronto’s funnest night are losers. I was a little pissed about having to be surrounded by freaks while my friends were out on the town, but then the hot trainer at my gym showed up and I thought he would make up for it.
I actually can’t believe I’ve never written about him before. He’s pretty much (at least physically) the perfect man. A while back, I had done a post about men in Lululemon pants, and I was referring specifically to him and how hot he looks in them. I usually have to take 5 deep breaths before I can walk past him to get a bar for the cable. I’ve never actually spoke to the guy, so he could be a complete moron, but I’m not into him for his intellect.
I saw him out last weekend when I was out for Nuit Blanche (some art thing) (he was with some skank that I know I could beat up), but he looked even better in his street clothes, and I figured I would have to take 10 deep breathes to pass his office on my way in to the gym.
But…he got a haircut. Not such a good idea. He didn’t have long hair to begin with, it was nice and trim, but he cut it super short, and it’s not flattering. If you don’t have a nice skull, you really shouldn’t do that. And it shows off his bald spot. But, now that he’s less hot, I can probably work up the nerve to talk to him, and just wait a month or so for his hair to grow back. (And figure out some way to get the skank he was with on Saturday to leave town).
Last week, I posted about how much eHarmony sucks. In the post, I said that I wanted to set up 3 dates for this week. It’s Thursday, and I am still dateless. eHarmony still sucks. I still want my money back. Maybe if I put a picture up of myself in a bikini it’d work better?
I was talking with a friend this morning and a mutual friend of ours just met the man of her dreams on eHarmony. So maybe that’s it. All my friends are taking the eHarmony men. Maybe they should make eHarmony free for men. Men are cheap. They’d like that.
I have a problem with short women dating tall men. I have known several unusually short women in my days (like 4′8″ to 5′2″). For the most part, these women are great, wonderful people and I wish them great happiness. What I dislike about them, however, is that, the short chicks I’ve known, have always gone after taller men. I’m not talking men that are taller than them, I’m talking men that are taller than most men. I also find that tall men prefer to date the usually short women (my theory is because the men like to think of their mates as dolls).
Here’s why this is bad for society: if short women always go for the tall guys, the women my height are going to be left with the short guys. When we all have babies, they are going to be shorter and shorter. The population therefore gets shorter and shorter. When aliens come to invade earth, we will be powerless because our entire world population is going to be 5′ tall and, if Hollywood has taught me anything, aliens are usually over 6′ tall.
Short women: please stick with men no taller than 4″ than you. If you don’t want the shorties, what makes you think we want them?
So, after a month and a half of eHarmony, I’ve decided it is horrible. Worst money I have ever spent. Here are the 5 reasons why:
#1- There are no attractive men. I know that I have high standards in the physical appearance of the men I am interested in, but it’s a little ridiculous. I’ve tried everything to fool myself in to thinking there are hot men on there (eg: picturing them in a cop/firefighter outfit, reading their profile and hoping I can like them based on that first), and nothing works. I know men usually take bad pics and don’t know what kind of picture appeals to the opposite sex, but come on! Not one hot guy in the entire city of Toronto??? No wonder I’m single.
#2- It takes too much time. At first, I liked the idea of having 10 matches sent to me every day, and I could browse them over breakfast, but if you miss a day or two (or worse, go away for a week), then you have to sort through 50+ ugly men.
#3- You can view your matches even if you don’t pay for a membership. This means even if a hot guy suddenly appeared on eHarmony, it’s possible that he didn’t pay for the service, so if I tried to communicate with him, it would go nowhere.
#4- Once they send you your first few batches of matches which are based on 27 areas of compatibility or something stupid like that, they start sending you crap. I started getting matches from the suburbs. The SUBURBS!! I don’t date suburb people. It’s a whole different culture out there that I don’t want to mess with.
#5- I paid $120 and got nothing.
So, I decided that I’m just going for it, and I am going to go out on 3 eHarmony dates next week. I wish it was socially acceptable for me to take pics of them so that when I write about how stupid they are, I can show you that not only are they stupid, but also ugly.
