Of course, an end-of-year blog list wouldn’t be complete without my list of favorite comments. I will admit that I only went back in the archives to August before realizing this was more work than I thought. But here is a list of some of my favorite things you guys say, in the order in which I found them:
Teenwolf’s introduction to the term “Douchenozzle” . However, this was NOT the first time he used it. He called Marty a Douchnozzle back in April. However, Teenwolf can’t take credit for inventing this. It has a definition in the urban dictionary.
I liked all the comments here. They were all hilarious. Why am I still Single. Coincidentally, I was asked that question last weekend. I never remember any of these awesome answers and usually say something cheesy.
Of course, when my readers use poetry in thier comments, it’s always nice. Thanks Fred. Night I went out with a football team
Reading through Marty’s comments was a blast. I laughed out loud several times. This one about his yoga attire I think takes the cake.
I’d have to say that Brett admitting his drug addiction on this blog really opened things up around here.
Desire’s continuing concern that I will end up married to Construction Worker always makes me laugh. She really seems concerned sometimes.
I always like it when my commenters sound smart. Dave Coullier sent me rushing for a dictionary with this word. Assuaged.
I learned how much the world really hates France. I asked Doll if she was from France. The answer was no, and then she refused to comment anymore.
And a new way to refer to female genitalia from SadieJayn.
Anything by AshleyDawn is awesome. Consider yourself mentioned.
There is one story that played out in the comments this year that I haven’t told you all about yet. A while back, in this post Teenwolf posted a comment that got me in a bit of hot water. You have all probably guessed that Teenwolf and I actually know each other. We haven’t seen each other in person in 14 years, but we went to high school together. In a now pulled comment to the previously mentionned post, he made fun of a guy we went to school with. Used first and last name. Made reference to the fact that sleeping with this guy would be gross. This guy googled himself, and found that someone was making fun of him. I pulled the comment, imagine if you googled youself and the first thing that came up was someone making fun of how shitty you were in bed? For the record, I do not know what he is like in bed for real, but I did make out with him once.
Thanks for the amazing comments this year guys! It really does brighten my day when I get them!
Everyone does lists this time of year. Since this blog is all about me…here are my favorites about me:
January
The story of how I made it backstage at a Poison concert. My sister helped me with it.
February
How I want to marry the Rock. He’s still my favorite man in the world.
March
I Google my dates. I completely forgot about this guy! That was hilarious. He hated me.
April
The worst month of my life, ever. Here is a Ron Jeremy story though.
May
A sex post. I don’t do them often, and it was a huge deal for me.
June
The day I became a stalker. I swear, I had like 8 dates with that guy, and it was non-stop drama. Hilarious drama.
July
I started telliing stories about my most retarded ex. That guy was a douchenozzle.
August
Platonic relationships. I love this one. It’s impossible to say you’re in a platonic relationship if you read through it.
September
Smile. The story about the dude who took my pic while in bed with me.
October
The Construction Worker’s joke. October was actually pretty good. October and January. Go back and read those.
November
The one about the alcoholic atheist with 2 ex wives and 3 kids. Classic.
December
The story about my 2:30am bus ride.
Any faves from you guys? Looking forward to making more memories in 2010!
Every so often, I get the opportunity to meet someone who changes my life. This happened Christmas Eve in North Battleford, Saskatchewan. I met the man of my dreams.
The term “met” may be a bit strong…but I definitely admired from a distance.
The term “man” may be a bit strong…but he at least had his drivers license, which puts him at 16, at least.
For the last little while, I have denounced dating men who are my age or younger. I am a mature woman, and I need a mature man. But I’m thinking that strategy is all wrong. I should be going for the younger men. They’re impressionable, and moldable. If I get them right when they move out of their parents house, I would have so much to work with. Forget trying to find the perfect man…I can make one.
When I was out on one of my disastrous speed dating dates, a guy, 42, said that he had the mind and spirit of a 22 year old, but in a 42 years old’s body. That was probably the dumbest thing anyone has ever said to me…ever. I’d much rather have the 22 year-old’s body. And dammit, I deserve it. Cougartown, here I come.
Tags: Dating, younger menOr Happy Hanuka, or Joyous Kwanzaa, or Happy Shopping….I’m outta here. Blowing the deep-freeze that is Toronto and heading to the deep-freeze-with-snow that is Saskatchewan. I’ll be back in a week or so. If you find yourself doing nothing, read my archives! Tell me what you liked and didn’t like about my topics over the last year. Enjoy time with your family. Buy me presents.
I will be on g.d. dial-up for the most part, so I can’t check in, but I do get your comments sent to my Berry, so keep ‘em coming…those are gifts in themselves.
I was discussing this topic with some friends the other day. I’ve stood behind the notion that men are intimidated by a successful woman. It makes sense. Men are typically the bread winners of the family, so a woman who is better at that than a man would upset the balance of the relationship.
I have actually tested this theory. 5 years ago, I wholesaled shoes. My territory was the entire country of Canada, and I was the sole representative for 3 name brands, one of which was brand new to the industry, and I introduced it. Yet, when men asked what I did for a living, I told them I worked in a shoe store. And they loved it. I probably got hit on more during the year or so that I did that than at any other time in my life. I lied about what I do repeatedly. I got with secretary a lot, if I look especially spicy, I say receptionist. And men totally dig it. I don’t think I would turn anyone on by saying that I’m totally into reconciling accounts, or that some of the best times I’ve had were during audits.
Logically, I would think that men are into it because they feel intellectually and financially superior. But I was thinking about it further. Men are into secretaries, flight attendants and waitresses because they are feminine and sexy, not because they feel superior to the people who have these jobs. They just like to be able to say “I’m dating a waitress”. When I said I worked in a shoe store, I’m sure men just saw it as a womanly thing to do.
Come to think of it, when I would respond with my shoe-store career to my boyfriend’s friend, he would always jump in to let them know what I really did. I always saw that as a flaw, but now am rethinking my attitude. I should drunk text him sometime.
He came to town for the Toronto Open, I was working at the golf club at the time, he gave me a Rolex, we went back to his hotel in his Lincoln and showed me his 9 iron.
It could happen?
I’m pretty much obsessed with the Tiger saga. I usually don’t get caught up in these sorts of things, but I’m pretty sure Tiger made zillions to keep his image clean, then screwed it all up. 2 days after his wife smashed out his car window in a rage, his last television commercial was pulled from TV. All his sponsors are dropping him. Apparently he sees having sex with random women rather than nailing his hot wife as worth millions.
This just confirms what I’ve said a million times: Men are retarded.
Going back to my post from yesterday about making babies, is it possible my lack of need-for-baby is turning men off? I’ve always been a firm believer that next to timing, primal instinct is what makes men and women attracted to each other. I’m a rather healthy woman with excellent proportions, so I get hit on a lot, which deepens my conviction that I am the ultimate woman. Throw in a bit of my Scorpio sexuality, and men can’t resist me.
Yet they are. I can’t get a date to save my life lately. Yet, I know a woman who’s all about the babies, is less attractive and more prudish than me, yet she can get any man she wants. Not just for a first date either. She can usually tie them up for years at a time. Is it because she flaunts her inner-mother, and man’s primal instinct to procreate is drawn to this?
I’m not saying that I don’t want kids. I’ve never seriously thought about it. I don’t want people to think I’m some kid-hating neanderthal. I love kids. The only good part about going to Saskatchewan’s -50 temperatures this Christmas is getting to see my 3 year old godson. I’m not even sure if I would be going if it weren’t for him. And kids love me. It might have something to do with the candy I give them in exchange for their affection, but it’s love nonetheless. Maybe the halfway point between basic mother instinct and devout anti-child is a really cool and hot aunt? How does that work with primal instincts? Does this explain why creepy old rich men are attracted to me?
Tags: relationshipsSide note: Sorry for the pic. While I love kids, two pics in the same week of babies was a little much for FitDarcie
s I, and the men I date, get older, the question of whether or not I want to procreate comes up more and more often. And usually rather quickly in a relationship. I get asked on the first encounter whether or not I want babies. I like the logic behind asking these questions on the first date, I think people should be honest with each other right from the start. That way, everyone knows what they are getting into. Remember the story about the old guy? Right after he asked if I wanted babies, he said that because he didn’t, things would never work between us (I was thinking things would never work because I wasn’t around when Elvis was topping the charts). Apparently the question seems to make or break relationships.
I am not old. I have tons of eggs left, and I’m in no hurry to make little FitDarcies. And I hate talking about it. I know people who are definitive in their answers. They will either never have children, or they will do anything in their power to make a baby. But how can they be so sure? What happens if these two extremes fall in love? The anit-baby and the pro-baby? There is no middle ground.
I know a guy who has a 7 year old. Before he met his wife, he maintained that he would never have kids. Then he met her, fell madly and deeply in love, and gave in to her wishes. When I meet up with him once or twice a year, the first thing he does is pull out a pocket sized album of his kid. I honestly have never met a more devoted and loving father.
On the other hand, I have a gal pal who is pretty much ready to give up everything in her life to make a baby. It is my opinion that she would marry a guy who she didn’t love, just to collect his sperm, and then remain with him to maintain an image of a perfect family. In fact, this is not just my opinion, but also my prediction. How can that be a better option than remaining childless?
And why does so much ride on this question? Why is it appropriate to ask this on the first date and have it be the deciding factor about whether or not there will be a second? Do we have to decide right then and there? If someone doesn’t have kids, are they allowed to change their minds about whether or not they want to make babies? As a woman, am I supposed to know whether or not I want them based on my maternal instinct? Am I a bad woman if I decide I don’t want babies? What if I desperately want them, and never marry, will I then spend my post-menopause life wallowing in self-pity?
I get asked out a lot. This, we all know. I am appealing to the opposite sex. 99 times out of 100, I have zero interest in dating the guy. From time to time, I might agree just for the heck of it, but usually, I politely turn them down, stating that I am just not interested. 99 times out of 100, they tell me I am closed minded. This really pisses me off.
I am not closed minded. I think I am very open minded. When I politely tell a guy that I’m just not interested in him, what I’m really thinking is “I am so far out of this guy’s league that the thought of spending an hour and a half over drinks with him repulses me.”
Do they think that by insulting me they will win points?
I have no doubt that within a generation, marriage as we know it will cease to exist (except in small towns). I was watching Two and a Half Men last night, and something was said to the effect of “If you have someone to clean your house, and you get some regularly, why get married?”. While the statement itself is chauvenistic, there is some truth to it. Why bother with all the bullshit when you can get all the good stuff without it?
I’m not saying that people wont have long-term comitted relationships, but I think they will start later in life and be much more mature. I consider myself young, with my whole life ahead of me, which is why I am always shocked to meet people my age who have already been through a divorce. I’m not shocked that they have gotten a divorce so young, it’s that they got married so young. Why bother? What IS the rush?
What I find even more odd though, is that I know people my age, who are in marriages, refer to their marriages as “starter marriages”. What the fuck? Call me old fashioned, but isn’t marriage supposed to be till death do us part? Not that I don’t think people shouldn’t get divorced if they don’t love each other, but to go into a marriage knowing that it wont be your last…isn’t that killing the whole purpose of it? Why not just live with someone?
While I’m not sure if it’s in my stars, I’m a huge fan of marriage…more importantly, I’m a huge fan of what it symbolizes. And I hate people who fuck with that.
