Cheapest Man Ever (Part 2)
I’ve been bitching about cheap men pretty much since I started this blog over a year ago, (here’s an example) but I never told my best (worst) first cheap date story…this was probably my first experience with the cheap date, so it explains why I didn’t know how to handle it.
I’d met a guy at a bar, Fred (real name). He asked me out, I said yes, despite the fact that I saw him kissing another girl that same night. Our first date, he picked me up, we went to a local restaurant. Being mindful of the guy’s unemployment (normally I would make fun of him for that, but, well, you know), I only ordered a plate of poutine. This was a regular dinner for me in those days of high metabolism so it wasn’t like I was putting myself out to help his pocket book. I had, honest to god, forgotten my wallet. Probably the only time I’ve ever done that. Since the fries were only $3.65, I didn’t see it being an issue. When I told him that I had fogotten my wallet, he said “Don’t worry about it. You can pay me when I drop you off.”
Uhm, what?
….
He asked if I wanted to check out a bar, and I was cool with it. We’re standing at the bar, the bartender asks what we’d like, he says “One Molson Ex please” (or some other cheap beer). Remembering he wasn’t alone, he turned to me and said “Oh, that’s right, you forgot your wallet. Want a beer?”
Now I needed beer to help get me through the night. “Yes, I’ll have a cheap one too.”
We drink our beer. The waitress comes over and asks if we want another. He takes out a pocket full of change…like I’m talking nickles and dimes…counts it all out and says “We’ll get a beer, and a glass.” then turns to me and says “I hope you don’t mind sharing!”
Had his unemployment been due to a horrible recession, like mine is, this would have been excusable. But since his unemployment was due to him getting fired from Future Shop (not because he quit to take care of his ailing mother like he told me), I was not impressed. How did I find out the real reason for his unemployment? Because I dated him for 3 years. It’s funny, because I don’t ever remember liking him.
May 6th, 2009 at 7:51 am
Ha ha! Good old Fred. I remember him. He never seemed to have any money. Why did you date him that long again?
May 6th, 2009 at 8:00 am
I swear, I broke up with him once every month, and despite the fact that he was poor, going nowhere, not charming, not good-looking….he had knew how to change my mind every single time.
May 6th, 2009 at 10:06 am
Let me get this straight. This was your first date with this unemployed ugly loser? AFTER you saw him kissing another girl? That you dated for THREE YEARS?!?!?!?!? AND YOU WON’T FREAKING GO OUT WITH ME?
I might just start boycotting this blog until you go out with me. And I want boob action.
May 6th, 2009 at 10:24 am
Honesty day!!!! You even admit you dated him for THREE YEARS??? You are going to give hope to all the cheap guys in the world with that record! Now you have to plan out how you can counteract all the damage you did for women everywhere and get back to being totally spoied at high class expensive joints!~
May 6th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
Ugh. Lame ass Freds out there ruining the Fred name for the rest of us Freds.
May 6th, 2009 at 2:23 pm
Darcie, you deserve sooooo much more.
I’ve just broken up with Jennifer Parker, so how about I pick you up in the Delorian at 8pm Friday night. My band, The Pinheads, have a show that night but we don’t go on until 12:01 (Teenwolf will have turned into a pumpkin by then). We can ride around town, listen to Huey Lewis and the News, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, and Eddie Van Halen. Then hit the 7-Eleven so we can get in a few rounds of shooting games. From there, it’s over to the show, where you will have VIP seating, of course, and join me and the guys on stage for a rendition of “Every Rose Has Its Thorn.” After that, we’ll hit a party and then, well, “after the party it’s the after party” as they say in the future. All on me. Don’t even think about bringing your wallet.
May 6th, 2009 at 2:45 pm
Whew.
Teenwolf- It was a LONG time ago, and he may have started my whole “judge a man by whether or not he pays on the first date” rule. If you do a full-body shave, I will go out with you.
Frank- Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. I LEARNED from that lesson. I now completely bash and hate any man who doesn’t pay, regardless of economic situation.
Marty- I think you need to get off whatever it is you’re on. I will never step into the Delorean for fear that I will end up in the 1700’s and get burned at the stake for being a witch. All good bands/songs though.
May 6th, 2009 at 2:54 pm
And Fred, this experience only turns me off cheap guys, not ALL Freds.
May 6th, 2009 at 3:08 pm
Wow. I am speechless.
May 6th, 2009 at 5:06 pm
Chalk it up to being in university (you were young and naive right?) Look at it as a learning experience. You know now that the guys who pay are MUCH better to date.
May 6th, 2009 at 10:03 pm
haha that’s disgustingly cheap, you can pay me back, that actually made me laugh. I seriously don’t understand guys like that, i buy drinks for female friends who i’m not even interested in regularly (k not recently because cash is a little tight), but 100% for sure for a girl im interested in. Maybe im just trying to get them drunk though. And paying for dinner is a must, unless the girl refuses to let me pay several times.
May 7th, 2009 at 9:07 am
It is disgustingly cheap…but now, I get excited when a guy offers to pay for ice cream, so I guess he HAS done society a favour.
May 7th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
Wow…That’s amazing! I had been dating a guy for a week or something when we decided to go out to eat. When they bring the check he’s like you mind paying half? I have a lot of bills to pay. I was like, so do I! If you can’t pay, don’t take a girl out!!!!! F’n A!! I refused to date him after that. We’re just friends now, no benefits or anything, don’t want to get involved with that crap!
I agree they need to pay; if they can’t maybe offer to cook dinner for you at home, and rent a movie?? (If you’re that comfortable with the person already.
After the guy said you can pay when I drop you off I’d have said I’m sorry I don’t have any cash. (I don’t usually have any cash.)
May 7th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
True enough: FOR THE RECORD: I always pay my fair share after the first date.
May 12th, 2009 at 11:15 am
Finally “Cheapest Man Ever (Part 2)” is out!! I’ve been waiting for this sequel for ages. This story makes me feel I’m too much a nice guy and should consider stepping back a little. So did you ever pay back poor Fred the $3.65? When is part 3 coming out?