I did a post last week about me and my inability to have someone commit to me. I was discussing its finer points with a collegue of mine at my temp job, and we were talking about the conversation each couple eventually undergoes about where they stand in the level of commitment.

Us women are petrified of having this conversation. When we ask the question “are you seeing other people?”, men hear it as “we should be getting married”. Men, you have to know, this isn’t even close to what we are asking. It’s not an indication of how we feel about you or whether or not we see a long-term relationship happening here…we just want to know all the facts so that we can make appropriate decisions for ourselves.

A while ago, I was in that stage with a guy…I wasn’t sure if he was exclusive to me yet or not. I was traveling, and met a guy at the baggage carousel…a doctor, and he was gorgeous. He asked for my number, and I seriously considered giving it to him…but then I thought about the guy I was dating at the time. I had no clue where we stood, and not sure if I really liked him, but wanted to be fair, so I told the doctor that I was in a relationship.

When I met up with the guy I was seeing, I asked him if he was seeing other people. He said “Look, can’t we just see where this leads?” (This, by the way, is the stupidest thing men ever say. Isn’t it obvious that no matter where a relationship goes, we will be seeing where it leads?). I tried to explain that I wasn’t asking him for his hand in marriage, but I couldn’t say “I want to know if I can see other people”. He ended up dumping me a week later because I was moving too fast. I didn’t even like him.

My hunky chiropractor gave me the best, and super logical advice on this matter…if I would be upset that he’s seeing other people, then I shouldn’t see other people.

Tags: commitment, Dating, relationships