This is not something I normally do because I am not a pansy, but I was flipping through a few weeks ago, and the title of the show was Men Are Assholes, or something like that. I don’t feel good about having watched it, but with a title like that, or whatever politically correct way it was worded, how can you not?

During the show, they blared some stat about how most men chose to remain single because they don’t need to get married in order to have sex. This just confirms my theory that men have no brains. More on that in a minute.

I got to thinking about a few girls from my hometown who have kids. These are people I went to high school with who never left. When I run into them while visiting my parents, this is how our conversations usually go:

Me: Oh, what a cute baby (lie). I didn’t know you were married!

Trashy girl: I’m not.

Me (because I have no filter): Then who’s the father?

Trashy girl: There is none.

That is the stupidest answer I ever hear, by the way, and I’ve heard it more than once. You can’t tell me there is no father. Someone had to have contributed that sperm. I can get that it’s an awkward question to answer, especially if there are two baby-daddies or you didn’t get the name in first place. But you can’t tell me that these women decided on their minimum-wage job to go to a sperm bank and get inseminated.

Whatever, I’m bitching about men here, not trashy women. So I was thinking about these women, and I was thinking, not only can men get sex wihtout being married, they can also have babies. Now, as someone who has recently come to the realization that I am completely incapable of being loved and will probably be single for the rest of my life, I know that women too can enjoy no-string sex, so it may not be just one-sided here. But the baby thing kinda is.

Yes, a man can chose to have a baby with a woman who wants a child but not a husband. But chances are pretty high that the woman will be the one with the majority of the responsibility. So a guy can want to have a baby as badly as a woman, but if he changes his mind about it later, it’s still the woman’s tough luck.

Damn Dr Phil. You got me all pissed off.