A result of the speed dating event the other night, I ended up with a few dates. This weekend, I went out with one of them. When he initially contacted me, I couldn’t remember which one he was, which made our e-mail conversations rather interesting. I had suspected he was the old guy because in his e-mail to me, he asked if I had ever been married or had kids. No one has ever asked me that before. In all honesty, the only reason I checked “yes” to him was because that Teacher Bitch had made mention of him.

I was dreading this date. I can sit through bad dates…I’ve had a lot of practice. But I just wasn’t sure that I could sit through a bad date with a guy closer to my dad’s age than mine. I braved the night out. When I find myself in these situations, I just pretend they are work associates. I can hang out with an old guy if it’s work related.

I walk in, and the dude is sporting a haircut that went out of style in the 80’s, a shirt that went out of style in the early 90’s and about 1/2 a bottle of cologne. Seriously, I think he bathed in it. I couldn’t concentrate on anything else the entire date. He was also from the burbs. Being older than me is one thing, but from the burbs is something completely different.

I’ll admit the conversation wasn’t horrible, I tried to keep it in a neutral zone and told him about life growing up on a farm. He was making rather desperate attempts to find out my age. Asking me what decade I considered childhood, etc. I thought it was fun to avoid his questions.

He asked my why I had never been divorced or why I didn’t have kids. I’m used to this type of questioning, but the way he put it, he made it seem like a bad thing. “So, you have no baggage then?”. I thought that was a good thing.

I always thought I looked younger than my age, but I’m pretty sure this guy thought I was older. When I hit him the fact that my 31st birthday is coming up, he just about spit out his beer, then excused himself to use the washroom. When he came back up, he asked me flat out if  I saw “this” going anywhere. I stressed the different stages we were at in our life, what I meant to say was that his grown daughter and I probably have more in common. So I paid my half of the bill and left.

I seriously had to wash my sheets the next morning. The smell of his cologne transferred onto me then onto my sheets and was giving me a headache.