My First Date in 5 Months
As my regular readers know, despite my stunning beauty and exceptional charm, I can never seem to get a date. And when I do go on a date, they never turn into second dates (see the entry on my previous date).
My friend’s boyfriend Joe, (mentioned already here) decided to set me up with one of his friends. Most of my single friends hate being set up. I love it. I love finding out what my friends think is the perfect man for me and I love going on dates period (so I have ammo for my blog of course). I trust this guy, I think he’s pretty stand-up in the way he treats my friend and the pics he was showing me of his friend were pretty good so I figured why not.
It was going to be a double date, which I’ve never really been on for the first date, and was pretty nervous about a close friend seeing the way I am on a first date. But, I figured, at least I’d have a witness to the things men say to me on dates. So I met the other couple in front of the little Mexican place we were eating at. Us two girls went in and sat down while Joe waited outside for my date. When my date walked in, I was pleasantly surprised. He was pretty good looking- with a nice white smile and big teeth (I think I’ve mentioned before how much I like that). He sat down, introductions were made, etc.
Then he started talking. The dude was TANKED. Now, I’ve been nervous before dates before, and have downed a shot or two of vodka before meeting someone, but this guy was plastered. Apparently he’d been on a booze cruise during the day for his buddy’s birthday, a story which he told about 46 times. Literally. That is not an exaggeration. Of course, the story of the afternoon boozing came after he told us all about how a good friend of his wanted to get into the porn industry and was constantly seeking his advice (uhm- what exactly makes him so knowledgeable on the industry?).
Thank god there were others there. I don’t know what I would have done if I were alone. He was drunk. DRUNK! He knew about the date 2 weeks in advance…Men, if you are going to meet a lady for the first time, please don’t get drunk first.
So the bill comes. Now, you all know my history with men paying on the first date. I was pretty sure this guy wouldn’t, just because they never do. Unfortunately, he didn’t surprise me by paying. Instead, he let Joe pay. Like he hadn’t embarrassed Joe enough. But I guess if he’s about to become unemployed, then what can we expect? (He told us he was about to lose his job. Great thing to say on a first date. All the ladies are impressed by an unemployed man).
I’m going to bed tonite telling myself that Joe thinks SO highly of me that when describing me to Drunk Man he scared him into drinking his face off to calm his nerves before meeting me.
July 21st, 2008 at 6:11 am
Ah. The perils of singledom. :-D
Exciting stories you’ve got. ;-)
July 21st, 2008 at 10:41 am
Will you forget these ‘attractive’ guys already and date a rich old married shmuck so we can blackmail him?
I’m thinking one of these dipshit real estate developer losers. We have to get them quick while everything is still so over inflated. No sense in you stomaching dating an ugly old fart if he’s already lost it all.
Put on something short and some boots that are way too high and we’ll go stand you next to where ever they sell Viagara.
July 21st, 2008 at 10:56 am
I don’t want to stand where they sell Viagra, I would be avoiding having to do anything with them. Unless they were dirty rich. Like own a jet rich.
July 21st, 2008 at 12:41 pm
Hmm. That kind of rich is the kind of rich that would be able to have us both killed instead of paying.
I’m thinking more extended line of credit rich and not 5th generation equity rich.
We need upper middle class in lawrence park with 2.5 kids and a lot more to lose than money.
Not that I’ve though this through or anything.
July 21st, 2008 at 2:06 pm
Darcie, we share your pain in having witnessed not only a first date, but double date - meaning twice the witnesses! In addition to Joe thinking so highly of you that “said drunk date” became plastered out of terror; your stunning beauty and exceptional charm broke through the layers upon layers of booze and made an impression on “said drunk date”. So much so, in fact, that he was hoping for another chance. Poor delusional boy….!
July 21st, 2008 at 4:59 pm
You have great plans. Those are some of the most difficult to get however. Let me know the specifics of your strategy and we can move on.
July 21st, 2008 at 5:01 pm
@Char and Joe- he got plastered out of terror? I know I can intimidate guys, but terror? That’s a bit much!
July 21st, 2008 at 10:29 pm
I say give him another chance. It was his buddy’s birthday. If it was my birthday, and I were there, I would have made you come get drunk with me - first date later or not. Remember his big white beautiful teeth!
July 24th, 2008 at 4:48 am
I disagree. Like you said, Darcie, the fella knew about the date for weeks. Birthday or not, it goes to show how the guy deals with people. Better that the problem was shown this early.
What if you saw his true colors when you’re going out steadily? That would be even tougher.
July 26th, 2008 at 9:38 pm
You know, I think he’d probably be a really fun guy, and fun is important in a relationship, however, I can’t imagine giving him another chance. Respect is probably more important that fun, and he should have cancelled the date if he knew he was going to get loaded.