My mom wonders why I am single. Here is tonights gym story:

The guy who asked me if I was cop comes up to me “So, your husband must be really happy about all your hard work”. Ah crap. This guy is around enough that I can’t lie to him. “No, I don’t have a husband”. “Oh. Well then your boyfriend?” “Uhm, no, I don’t have one of those either”. Then I start working out furiously with all the focus in the world. A few minutes later, he comes back “So, do you want to go out with me?” I am fully prepared for this. I knew this guy wanted to ask me out even before the cop question. “No, I don’t date gym guys”. This is my secondary excuse to lying about being in a relationship. I’d never had to use it, but figured that I’d be giving a clear reason why we can’t go out. Didn’t work. “Well, you should give a guy a chance…what are you closed minded?” Crap. I SHOULD give a guy a chance and I don’t want anyone thinking I am closed minded. AND, I write this blog…so I say “Fine. I’m done in half an hour. You can take me out then.” He wasn’t prepared for this. He got instantly nervous and jittery, but managed to get out a “Ok. I’ll see you then.” Then my mind starts racing about all the things I can do to make him not like me, such as jazz hands after everything I say, or talking in pig latin. That last half hour was grueling. He stood over, watching me. Talking to me between every set. 4 other guys came up to me during that time, so he noted “You sure get hit on a lot. You should just pick one.” Uhm, didn’t I say I was going out with you? You won.

The Date- So I meet him at his car after a protein shake, assuming we would go someplace local and grab a green tea. He suggest we go to the mall (which is closed) and tell me to follow him. Ok. So I call my sister…I need to let someone know I am venturing off with some stranger. I don’t even know this guy’s name. We get to the mall, and I suggest 3 restaurants in the mall that we could eat at (one being Pickle Barrel, my favorite), but he wants to go for shwarma at some place accross town- in a snow storm. Fine. If you want shwarma that bad. Not sure why we went to the mall in the first place, but whatever. So we’re heading accross town for shwarma. He was a pretty funny guy, a little nervous. Here are some quotable highlights:

“I can feel your aura. It’s a great aura. I can’t see it, but I can feel it. It told me to talk to you. I’m deep.”

“I’ve never been with a caucasian woman before. Now that I’m getting older, I really would like to try it.”

“I was with a peurtorican (sp) once. But she already had a baby with a black guy, so she was ruined for me.”

“So you grew up on a farm? Did you have lots of cats? Were there lots of worms?”

“When we’re in a relationship, we should keep our gym life separate”

“Why wont you give me your number?”