The Pressure Of Being Single
I spent time at a cottage this weekend…there were about 15 of us up there, most of the others were couples. (read: FitDarcie didn’t get any action). When I first learned that one of the ladies was married, the first thing I blurted out was “But you’re so young!”. She was my age. They all were. Given that 90% of the people I normally hang out with are older than me and single, I found it so strange that these people were all paired off.
When I caught my reaction, I thought “Damn, more people should think like me.” Ok, I always think more people should think like me. But if everyone thought that 30 was too young to be married, I would be happier, and my life would be easier. There would be less pressure.
That got me to thinking about the “pressure” to be in a relationshionship. Where was it coming it from? Who was pressuring me. Though I complain about it a lot, I couldn’t come up with a singler person who made me feel like I missing something by not being in a relationship. The only people who really think I should be tied to a man are other women who are tied to a man…usually those who are unhappy.
So maybe I make up the pressure myself?
August 31st, 2009 at 8:04 am
I think people do tend to put pressure on themselves about this. But it also comes from others around you. The majority of my friends are either in relationships or married. I used to get the comment all the time of, “oh, your not married yet are you, well don’t worry, there is someone out there for you.” Now that I am in a relationship, I still get the same comment, but about the being married part. Lay off people, maybe we are not ready yet and don’t want to make the committement until we are certain.
While I was out on the weekend with friends, one of the sisters’ of a friend went home early for various reasons. One of them was that she wasn’t feeling happy because she is turning 30 and her life isn’t where she thought it would be. Her biggest problem? She has been single for the past 5 years. My thoughts were that that shouldn’t be her biggest problem because she has some big health problems that she should consider first as well. But, she feels pressure from all those around her to be in a relationship.
So, to make my point in a long rambling way, I think that it is the others around us that put the pressure on us in a round about way, and as a result, we put the pressure on ourselves as well.
August 31st, 2009 at 8:27 am
Re your sister’s friend: My life stopped going according to plan at age 19. My solution is to not make plans.
I don’t know why we should feel pressured to be in relationships. It’s stupid. I’m really happy being alone and hate most people. A relationship would really mess up my life.
August 31st, 2009 at 9:45 am
FitDarcie COULD have gotten some action, and wanted to, but didn’t…so I think you have to tell me the explanation behind that (probably not in your blog comments, though…)
August 31st, 2009 at 9:50 am
Oh Troy…. ;)
August 31st, 2009 at 10:06 am
That’s a teaser for my readers.
August 31st, 2009 at 10:13 am
I must have missed something with the teaser! Besides, if 30 is over the hill, it is a very small hill. The pressure is yours alone to create or ignore.
Maybe Franca will explain who Troy is–but it probably is not rated for this blog???? SHe probaably knows all of the hot stories!
August 31st, 2009 at 10:16 am
Franca is one of my besties. We’re pretty much the same person. She knows EVERYTHING.
August 31st, 2009 at 11:56 am
Franca….I just launched my Diet Pepsi on my keyboard, thanks.
Re: the pressure of being single, I believe this is self made. It is a state of mind that you want to be in, do you WANT to be single, or do you WANT someone in your life. Your choice. The pressure…is your choice.
August 31st, 2009 at 4:36 pm
And for the record, there were five single guys there, and two more that were just over Friday night…not that bad of a ratio!
September 1st, 2009 at 6:55 am
@James, well said. Agreed
@Darryl, if men don’t hit on me, I assume they are homosexual, and therefore do not count. So, there was only 1 single man there.
September 1st, 2009 at 11:51 am
It’s your biological clock ticking away. Duh.
September 1st, 2009 at 1:12 pm
Gee, thanks for lifting my spirits.
April 17th, 2010 at 8:29 pm
Way too much pressure not to be single, especially if you visit ya home town……. I dunno i feel like the people who say this are not ideots but the social mindset is so that you have to conform….. We all want to be happy but just look at the divorce rate to understand that you should be sure !
April 19th, 2010 at 8:34 am
I think it’s misery loves company. They are in misery because they are married, and they want others to be the same.