The Thing About First Dates….
One of the worst things about first dates is when the guy sits there and says nothing, so we, the fearless women, try to take charge of the conversation. We end up asking rapid fire questions to which we get yes or no answers. It’s like they’ve never had a conversation before…or they’re used to be interrogated by the KGB.
I bring this up because I’m being vultured by a guy at the gym. He’s a short scrawny Italian guy who carries boxing gloves though he doesn’t box, and he calls me “Bella” all the time. He’s been working out at my gym for 2 years, and hasn’t yet gotten the courage to approach me. He’ll pass by me and say “excuse me Bella” or he’ll say “Bella, is that bench being used?”, but he’ll never full on ask me my name or try to talk to me. Last night, however, I was petrified he was about to make his move. He really circled me for a while.
And as I was avoiding eye contact and turning my back to him, I began to imagine what a date with him would be like, and that’s when I started thinking about how annoying it is when we have to make all the conversation. If you’re not at making small talk, take us to a basketball game or something.
Now, I wish I could relate a real life experience to the imaginary one I just spoke of, but I can’t get a date to save my life lately. I have friends who stop dating on purpose, something I have never done…and they get more dates than me.
Tags: first dates, meeting people
January 26th, 2010 at 3:36 pm
Do you ever ask men out, or do you always wait for men to ask you?
January 26th, 2010 at 9:18 pm
That’s a good question.
January 26th, 2010 at 10:18 pm
A good question indeed. I have asked men out in the past, and if I really like a guy, I’d ask him out. However, from my experience, this throws off the relationship’s balance. A man has a primal desire to hunt and chase, and when they don’t have to, things get screwy. I also find that men are less used to women asking them out, and will therefore say yes out of politeness or inexperience in turning a woman down. This often leads the woman to get false hope and screws things up more. I usually try to flirt heavily with a guy I want to ask me out….which inevitably leaves me sitting home alone on a Saturday night.
January 26th, 2010 at 10:51 pm
I think that you’re over-thinking it. If you like a man, ask him out. If he starts feeling somehow less-manly, because you’re the one who initiated the relationship, then he’s not the right one for you anyway. But if you never ask, you’ll never know.
January 27th, 2010 at 9:47 am
Soooooooo, youre really short on stories arent you? Imaginary dates? C’mon big D, you can do better than that! How about you go to another one of those speed dating things, that should give you a good few days worth of posts.
On the topic of asking people out, I think youre being hypocritical. You get asked out plenty, you just choose to keep saying no to everyone. Now, Im not saying you should go out with every weirdo that asks you out, but the less weird ones. For one, you could be judging them harshly and they could be nice guys. If things dont work out, you could try and date some of his friends and see where that goes. And if not, at least youll get a post out of it. But you cant complain about not getting dates, when youre actively trying to avoid them.
January 27th, 2010 at 1:23 pm
I’m not being hyprocritical. Let’s talk attraction. Would you go out with a girl you weren’t attracted to? I wouldn’t go out with someone that I thought was ugly. No offense to the ugmoes, but I don’t plan on putting a paper bag over my lover’s head. I’m not being picky about who I’m attracted to either, so don’t try that one. There are no good men left in my circles.
January 27th, 2010 at 3:20 pm
Yeah, but of all the men in Toronto, you cant find one whos attractive and who finds you attractive? I find that pretty hard to believe. And if thats the case, you should come to my gym, there are quite a few good looking guys there too (Extreme at Yonge and Dundas). Also, theres a difference between attractive and ok and ugly. Ok is bearable, average, and since you cant get a date to save your life, perhaps ok looking guys deserve a chance, at least for the short term. Considering the men youve dated so far, ok looking guys wouldnt be a step down.
At the same time, its highly unlikely that only ugly guys ask you out. Theres gotta be some ok looking guys in there. And if they are all ugly, well, beggars cant be choosers. Plus you might get a post or two out of it. Food for thought.