We’ve all had them. Out all night after partying and boozing…then passing out on someone’s floor and having to walk home the next day. I have a pretty hardcore policy about never taking cabs when it’s light out, so I always walk.

One particular walk of shame had me walking home in drizzling rain. I was wearing a top for which the weather was way too cold, jeans that I bought 2 sizes ago, shoes that should only be worn after midnight, one earring and mascara pretty much covering my entire face. In a nutshell, I looked like a tramp at 10am.

There’s a police station near my house which I had to pass on my way home. I knew I looked like dog’s breath, so I didn’t do my regular strutting while I passed it, just kept my fuzzy-haired head down. Not even half a block from the police station, a cop pulls up next to me. I’m thinking “I really look like whore.”The cop rolls down the window and says “Excuse me!” I turn to face him, a look of dread on my overly makeuped face, he says “Can I get your number?”

Uhm. Are you blind? I gave it to him because I figured if he thought that was hot, wait till he sees me trying. Of course he ended up being one of those weird martial arts guys and a bit of a stalker. I don’t think I even remember his name.