So, less than a week away, I will be celebrating my 8th Valentines Day alone. I know I seem like the type who bash Valentines Day and hate everything about it, but the only reason I have to hate it is that it reminds me how much of a failure I am at keeping a man. I think it’s fun though, and it gives me an excuse to buy expensive chocolate in a pretty box for myself.

Reasons I beleive Valentines Day is great:

1) If you’re single, what you eat or drink wont affect your health in anyway. It works out great this year because it lands on a Saturday, so I can drink my face off and not worry about the consequences to my health. I will also eat the entire box of chocolates mentioned above without leaving my couch.

2) Men who wouldn’t normally be easy will be really easy. The wuss guys who are normally saving themselves for marriage or something stupid like that get so depressed about having no one that they might as well have a target marked on their backs.

3) Going out without a man will let the easy guys know that I am single. Makes it easier for them to paint me as a target.

4) Chocolate goes on sales the day after.

5) My brother turns 23 the day before.

6) I am forced to wear red. The only red shirt I own shows me off in all the right places. And I have the BEST red pumps that are just one shade of patent too slutty to wear to work.

7) The guys that will be out on Valentines day will assume that I am desperate and lonely and will want to buy me drinks to get me into bed.

8) The couples that were left a little rocky after Christmas will spit up, putting more men on the market.

9) Someone is bound to bring chocolate into the office this week.

10) All my friends who are in relationships will feel sorry for me…hopefully resulting in them giving me the chocolates that thier boyfriends gave them that they don’t want.