What Happened To House Parties?
I’ve been trying to do things cheaply lately, which means I am opting for house parties over going to the bar. Bringing a case of beer to a party is much cheaper than buying a few at a bar. I’ve been to half a dozen or so house parties in the last few months. They have all sucked. I’m not talking about dinner parties, or BBQ’s, but parties that are deemed to be rip-roaring good times.
I remember a time, when house parties were things to go to. You can get completely drunk, and know that if you pass-out where you stand (or lie), you’ll be ok. I think the last good houseparty I went to, I walked in on people doing it in the bathroom. That’s what house parties are all about- safe environments to get completely messed up.
I was at a party a few weeks ago, where I knew most of the people there. They were all regular drinkers, who I have partied with several times. Only this time I didn’t drink. I was driving, and I never drink and drive. The result was me checking my watch every 10 minutes, waiting for my party-partner to be done with the scene so we could leave. Here is what that party did wrong:
1) It was in a house, but the party wasn’t delegated to one area. The food was upstairs, the poker table was downstairs. There were not enough people in the house to make that work.
2) The tv was on, both upstairs and down. A party should be planned after the game, not during it
3) Seating was arranged theatre style. I have no idea what the fuck that was supposed to do, but it didn’t work.
4) There was a kid there. One kid. A bunch of drunks.
5) Most of the people there grew up together. Doesn’t allow for new people to get into the circle.
The next disaster of a party occured this past weekend. It was a housewarming party. Despite the fact that I got rediculously loaded, I still had a terrible time. Here’s what the host did wrong:
1) His furniture had not yet arrived. No table, no couch, no nothing. While it’s nice to have the big space, you need to comensate by having more people.
2) There were approximately 30 people there. 5 were male. 4 were taken. While I understand that this may have been thought out by the host, it didn’t make any of the women there very happy.
3) The layout was all wrong. He had a room open that had nothing but a tv and a folding chair in it, which should have been closed for the party completely. It was a beautiful night, so most people congregated on the balcony and at the food counter, but there was too much empty space in between.
4) The guy hadn’t figured out how to use his buzzer. We had to call him 3 times to get him to open the door for us.
I have one to go to this weekend. I hope for their sake they read this before I show up.
April 29th, 2009 at 10:43 am
I have noticed too that as we get older, the house parties get tamer! And people start bringing their kids with all that booze around. Maybe with all those kids, it HAS to be tamer. So bottom line, not as much fun anymore!!!
April 29th, 2009 at 10:53 am
Q: What ever happened to good rip roaring house parties?
A: You got old.
I always ask myself this as well. I remember in my late teens and early 20’s we always had great house parties, but now any decent party inevitably ends up with going to the bar. Here is the last 5 house parties I have been to:
Go to house. Lame people sit around staring at each other. People chug cheap domestic beer and stuff their fat faces. Some stupid girl announces that they are drunk and wants to go dancing. Go to stupid lame bar. Fat girls all go “dance” at some boring neighborhood pub by standing in a circle with their fat boobs all propped up. (Side note: Girls, you are fat. Your 8 inch cleavage isn’t distracting me from your muffin top or your ugly faces with whorish makeup). But I digress. Girls go from “dancing” to do SHOTS! And by shots, I mean bottle caps, porns stars or some other shit that is essentially Sour puss with some sort of liquor. Girls stand around taking 23094290 pictures of themselves trying to make sexy faces and then post the exact same picture of facebook 23094290 times. Meanwhile the guys sit in the back of the bar wearing Affliction t-shirts and frosted tipped hair point out what girl they are going to nail. About 1:37 the fat girls and chachi dudes match up and they all make out on the dance floor. 2:08 the bar closes and guys ask the girls to go home with them, to which they oblige. Guys stuff the fat girls in their $70,000 trucks that they are 3 payments behind on and drunkenly drive back to their rented duplex. Girl pukes on guy. Guy doesn’t care. Takes her inside his duplex, tells his 4 roomates to quick playing playstation in his room and the 2 random barstars have drunken unspectacular sex.
April 29th, 2009 at 11:08 am
First of all, you can’t have a housewarming without the furniture… that’s not a housewarming, its a vacant space warming…
Given that ratio, where was my invite?
The best house parties I’ve been to lately are when I go down to Waterloo to visit my fraternity. They usually involve going to a bar later in the night (which is a five to ten minute walk), and then back to the house, which gives some people a chance to clear out, and gives the party a bit of a buffer between loud and crazy, to more relaxed and conversational. It also helps that everyone lives within a ten to fifteen minute walk as well… note: to them I am cool older guy, not creepy older guy, as I’m there to have fun, not try to pickup a coed…
Its just too hard to have a good house party in suburbia, where a lot of people are driving and don’t want to leave a car parked on the street overnight. With limited public transit, its harder for people to let loose and know that they can get as drunk as they want and still be able to find a way home after crashing on a couch for a few hours… oh yeah, and when you own a house, you tend to have nicer stuff, which kind of determines who gets invited over…
April 29th, 2009 at 12:26 pm
@Frank- great, so it’s not just me!
@teenwolf: We clearly party at the same places, cause that’s exactly what I see.
@randy. You ware not a frat boy. Belonging to a fraternity 10 years ago does not qualify you as a frat boy.
April 29th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
Silence Earthling! My name is Darth Vader. I am an extraterrestrial from the planet Vulcan!
April 29th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
Did you just tell me to shut up? Teenwolf, do something!
April 29th, 2009 at 1:11 pm
I still belong to the fraternity, as it lasts beyond graduation (and there are alumni chapters)…
And only finished school 8 years ago… wait, that’s still a long time… nevermind…
Besides, that wasn’t the point of the post anyways… the house parties at the fraternity house I was referring to have been in the past six months, not from when I was in school… : P
April 29th, 2009 at 1:14 pm
Saying that you have partied with these 18 year olds for the past 6 months is not helping you look any less desperate than clinging on to the fact that you pay annual membership dues to a fraternity in Waterloo, Ontario, Canada.
April 29th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
I can personally vouch for the fact that this weekend you will be partying with professionals. That said, I won’t be there, so it loses some of its luster…
April 29th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
In the past 6 months, not for the past six months… I don’t party THAT hard anymore…
And the large majority of the guys are at least 19 and are fun to hang out with…
International fraternity, based out of Chicago, Illinois, USA with 228 chapters all over North America… and I have my life loyal membership, meaning I no longer pay dues… : P
April 29th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
Marty McFly Haiku:
Teenwolf wannabe
Shut the hell up douchenozzle
FitDarcie is hot.
April 29th, 2009 at 1:48 pm
Besides, they still know how to throw a good house party, so why wouldn’t I want to go down there and hang out with them… ; D
April 29th, 2009 at 1:49 pm
@Andrew, yes, because you wont be there, it will probably be good.
@Randy, 19 is not much better, and you pledging lifelong allegiance, not helping.
@Teenwolf, that was beautiful.
April 29th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
Wow Darcie great post, already made for some good conversation, but reserve your final judgements till after my housewarming ;-p with these tips I can’t fail ;)
April 29th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
Oh yeah, and another thing for house parties is that in order for them to be really good, you have to fill the place… inviting 20 people to a townhouse will not fill the place… unless they each bring 5 friends… then you have a party…
And you also should have coolers or an empty fridge for people to put their booze in, so that you don’t have 20 cases sitting in the backyard or on the balcony, taking up valuable cooling off space…
There will also inevitably be the people that have ADD and need to be entertained, so having an interactive video game like Rockband or Guitar Hero set up in a room outside of the main one usually helps keep people loud… and provides some extra entertainment when people actually get drunk enough to start singing (note: having people there that sing in a band or choir can be annoying, as they are less funny to watch)…
April 29th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
Ok, let me know when you want me to announce your perfectly orchestrated party on my blog.
April 29th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
House parties are great for saving money. You’re right they can suck.
I had one for my birthday a couple weeks ago. No one threw up and only one beer bottle was broken, so i deemed it a success. Oh and people seemed to have a pretty good time, thats also important for it to be a success.
I find one of the biggest party killers is TV, people will just sit and watch whatever is on even if they dont really like it, TV is a powerful force.
Some people dont like house parties, my group of friends has been deemed ‘boring’ by some people because we dont go to a bar every single time we drink. those people are stupid
P.S. i managed to actually end the month with some money in my account, so i can afford to buy you that beer
April 29th, 2009 at 5:35 pm
16 Woburn. Friday.
Do it whether you know who lives there or not.
…for old times sake.
April 29th, 2009 at 5:37 pm
@Roy, you should invite me to your parties
@Doig, that was the place I mentioned where I saw people doing it.
April 29th, 2009 at 8:31 pm
If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything.
April 29th, 2009 at 8:40 pm
Though I don’t disagree, what the heck are you talking about?
April 29th, 2009 at 10:19 pm
Great article, on a great topic. I’ve often tried to achieve the optimal house party ( haven’t we all ), here are a few of my own rules. I think they kinda work as a host and a guest:
1/ New people, I think all good parties have an element of new people. As a general rule I think around 20% is a good goal but depends a lot of personalities.
2/ Couples night, as a single guy I have a different expectation from events feature mostly couples. These seem to have a different vibe and gets worst as kids are involved. I think its a good idea to balance couples and singles.
3/ The Watercooler Party, my worst experience was a party with a large group of teachers. If I never hear about the “horrors of indoor recess” again it will be too soon. A Law firm xmas party was a close 2nd but I think the same applies whenever too many people that work together get together. #1 helps a lot here..
There’s probably a whole other topic on drink and food selection too ;)
April 29th, 2009 at 11:16 pm
Darcie knows all about teachers talking shop at parties… and yes, they are definitely the worst…
April 30th, 2009 at 10:56 am
Oh gawd Colin. You have no idea how much I HATE teacher talk (disclaimer, my sister is a teacher and I love her. I love all teachers, and I think they do wonderful things for us by raising our children).
You right though, there needs to be a good mix of new people and single/couples and all that.
April 30th, 2009 at 10:25 pm
I don’t think you’d accept. You’ve made it quite clear that you don’t appreciate people who come from a little east of Toronto
May 1st, 2009 at 9:57 am
Scarborough? That’s harsh.
May 2nd, 2009 at 2:49 pm
No not Scarbourgh, we dont have to get into it
May 4th, 2009 at 8:31 pm
house parties -> you’re either a) 19 and gots no where better to go.
the real question is …… what happened to BUSH parties. oh yeah, urban sprawl. S
Some of the best times I’ve had have been in the bush (literally, not figuratively) …. like that time I saw a guy chasing a girl with a firey used t-mp-n through the scrub, that time some idiot dude drove his shiny new ‘90 IROC into the Mississauga Credit creek and got it stuck for 17 days … that time I got my 11-year-old brother stoned and then drunk on Old Milwaukee tall boys and my old man made him cut the grass, then took us to St. Huberts Chicken ….
Bush parties.
May 5th, 2009 at 11:10 am
I grew up on a farm, so by house parties, I MEANT bush parties. Let’s have one. Who’s in?
May 5th, 2009 at 11:29 pm
me and my friends used to drink on an old train bridge, a bush party is a step up in class, im totally in
May 6th, 2009 at 8:08 am
We used to drink on an old train bridge in my home town too! Dangerous now that I think about it.
May 6th, 2009 at 10:06 pm
wow that incredible, ive never heard of other people doing that too. Did you also find that some people just didnt understand the whole appeal of drinking on a bridge?