This article was in the paper this morning.  A man left the comfort of his home in search for adventure in the Great White North, during February, and died from hypothermia, despite being very well educated on surviving because he watched a tv reality show. Thinking about it, I decided to put together a list of reality TV shows I’ve learned survival skills from, and by which I plan to live out my life:
1)    The Bachelorette: This show taught me that I can put out a casting call and have 25 men line up to marry me. Why on earth haven’t I done this yet?

2)    Jon and Kate Plus 8: Once I am successful with #1, I should seek out fertility drugs so I can have a million babies. Then, I can spend the rest of my life living on corporate sponsorship. Brilliant.

3)    The Apprentice: If #2 doesn’t work out, and I have to go back to work in corporate-Canada, I will know that drama is the way to work the corporate ladder. Clearly, I will have a long and rewarding career if I can entertain my boss appropriately.

4)    Extreme Makeover:  Of course, after having giving birth to a million kids (see #2), I will need to get a tummy tuck. They would for sure give me all the plastic surgery I want because I will be famous, sad and broke. Great reality tv.

5)    Dancing With The Stars: After I get my extreme makeover, and am camera ready, I will take my horrible white-girl dance moves to Dancing With The Stars. It’s every washed up celebrity’s dream.

6)    The Osbournes: When #5 doesn’t quite shoot me into stardom, I know that I can make a killing by exploiting my drug addictions from the painkillers I will have become addicted to after my #4.

7)    Celebrity Rehab With Dr Drew: After all else fails, once no one remembers me anymore, and I have gone broke from having to buy my pain killers on the black market, I will end up on Celebrity Rehab with Dr Drew. Currently my all-time favorite reality tv show.