Why Am I Still Single?
This is a horrible question. I get asked this question by men trying ti pick me up, older relatives, younger relatives who think they are better than me because they are married, chicks who are uglier than me and who beleive that the only reason they are single is because they are ugly (when in actuality, their low self-esteem is the reason they are still single).
While I can understand that no one gets why I am single; I am hot, smart, independant, fun, super cool, etc. this is a stupid question. It implies that there is a single reason I am single; that if only I changed that one thing, I would be married; and I know precisely what that reason is. What is a good answer to that question. Here are a few that I’ve used in the past:
- “I am crazy”
- “Most men never call me after they meet my 12 cats”
- “I’m actually not single. My husband works for the CIA and I therefore cannot speak of him”
- “They keep running into knives and killing themselves!”
- “My last boyfriend was a quarterback for <<insert NFL team name>>. Physically, no one measures up anymore.”
- “Most men just can’t afford me.”
Anyone got any better ideas?
November 10th, 2008 at 9:38 am
Why don’t you just say… “I wore out the last few guys I went out with, they are just shells now.”
or… “What do I need a husband for? Men already do anything I want them to”
or… “Who the f#@k are you to ask why I’m single? Punk @ss b!tch! Maybe I shove this chopstick up your nose and we’ll find out why you’re a dillhole!”
or… “I’m staying single so that I can make out with NKOTB at bars.”
November 10th, 2008 at 10:16 am
Hahaha! Excellent suggestions!
November 10th, 2008 at 10:32 am
Because Clarke said so….
November 10th, 2008 at 11:27 am
“Things tend to fall apart when they find out I used to be a man.”
“Things tend to fall apart right after they see my rash/third nipple/penis.”
“I can never find a man as into BDSM/furries/centuars as I am”
November 10th, 2008 at 11:29 am
That’s awesome Amy! I really thought I had some good ones…yours are way better!
November 20th, 2008 at 8:33 am
Well, darcie, perhaps you are single in large measure because the men of Canadian culture have been totally emasculated by incredibly poor teaching and even worse-if not totally absent-male mentoring. I’m 44 and I can tell you that there are a very large number of men of my culture that are literally dying to get a girlfriend and/or wife, but however, are not able to achieve this because they simply do not have list of masculine virtues and appropriate behavioral traits required to attract-and keep attracted-women in general. Actually, you can help these poor guys-and perforce yourself, by sending them all to my website dealing with this type of issue(s). And hopefully over time together we will be able re-acculturate these gentlemen so that they will finally be able to ‘man-up’ and get out there and truly attract women into lasting fulfilling relationships. Anyways, I want you and everone else here to check out my website. I actually have a couple of pictures of myself there as well. So have a look.
November 20th, 2008 at 10:37 am
Oh, of course, my website is at http://www.masculineadvicenow.blogspot.com